Your Brain Is The Problem (& The Solution).
This is a woman who is married to the love of her life.
Who has a beautiful 7 year old son.
Who owns her dream house in her dream neighborhood.
Who works for herself in a fast growing business.
Who is joy-filled.
Who is at peace.
This is also a woman who has been abused. Yes, physically.
This is a woman who was date raped in her early twenties.
This is a woman who has been twice divorced.
Who once had a panic attack so terrible at work that she had to lay on a disgusting, cold floor in the back room of a Starbucks and breathe to get through it.
Who didn't want to leave the house and could only stomach Jell-o because the anxiety was so physical.
Both are true. But how?
I began a slow transformation many years ago (10) when I found a book by the gem of a human, Byron Katie, on my boyfriend's book shelf. I picked it up with it's cheesy cover and, for some reason, I started reading it. It woke me up from a fog of self-loathing and victimhood and taught me how to question my repetitive self-sabotaging thoughts.
That work has formed a bedrock in my life of unshakeable self-worth, peace, and power. So much so that people may pass me by as someone who's had it easy. Someone who doesn't "get it". Someone who is lucky.
I am, indeed, lucky, but luck is only one piece of my story. The rest is focused work. Not just on my business. Not at all. My business is a result of my brain work. So is my confidence. So is my healing. So is my peace. So is everything good I can point to. It IS a practice though. When I fall away, I have to come back. Again, and again, and again. Keeping my power requires vigilance.
The process of reclaiming your peace in the midst of mental turmoil looks something like this:
Thought: “I am worthless.”
Question: “Is that true?”
Answer: “I feel like it is true.”
Question: “But can you KNOW with 100% certainty that it is true that you are 100% worthless?”
Question: “Can you find proof that you are NOT worthless? Try to find 3 ways.”
Answer: “I contribute to others. I am a loving mom. I pay my own way in the world.”
Question: “Can you flip the original thought to an opposite?”
Answer: “I am not worthless…” or “I am worthy.”
Question: “Can you find where that statement is just as true as your original, painful thought?”
Answer: “Yes! I can.”
This tedious work is the work of transforming your brain one hurtful thought at a time. It starts with choosing to stop believing every thought you think. The next step is to question the thought. Give it less room to stand so firmly in your mind. Introduce doubt. You then work to replace that thought with something that feels peaceful and find proof so you can actually believe it. Otherwise your old thought will stay rooted.
If you are interested in this life-changing thought work then I highly recommend Byron Katie’s book, “Loving What Is” to help you get started. I also highly recommend hiring a life coach like Steph Sheldon who can help you with your thought examination. We talk about this in this week’s podcast episode called “Your Brain Is Getting In The Way”. Subscribe so you never miss an episode!!!
If you are interested in diving into this work in regards to your business then you may be a candidate for The Profit Project which is my next group coaching program that starts in January and is already filling up! I credit this work for ALL of my powerful thinking that has led to everything beautiful in my life - including my thriving business.
Are you ready to learn about what thoughts are holding you back from your healing and power? Let’s dive in!