Good Help Is Everywhere
Scarcity versus abundance. It's been a theme in my life for a long time. My sister calls it "the prince and the popper". Are you royalty or a beggar? Do you believe the universe has your back or that it's out to get you? Are people rooting for you or secretly tearing you down? Chances are, your outlook has a lot to do with how you were raised as well as how you're wired. It's a mix of personality and life events. You're an "everything will be ok" person or you're a "nothing ever works out" person. Most of us are a mix of both - with one being a bit heavier than the other.
As a manager, and now a business owner, I've learned that the PEOPLE who support your business can make or break you. A lot of business owners have this idea that "good help is hard to find". I disagree.
Good help is everywhere. You know how I know this? Because good people are everywhere.
It's been my experience that, if you treat people well, they will follow you. If you treat them poorly, then they won't. It's pretty basic actually, but the problem is this: many leaders don't even know they're treating people poorly. They have no clue! They think they're fair and fun and decent and that their staff and clients should be thrilled with that. We all want to think we rock the boss role, but few of us actually do.
I have a dream team list in my head at all times. Through the years I'll reach out to various people on this list and try to enroll them in whatever my latest job is. Many of them I return to again and again and I'm always "collecting" new ones! There's never been a moment where I've thought, "I wish I knew more great people..." Great people surround me and make me better every single day. They're encouraging and supportive. They're creative and fun. And you know what else? They don't stick around forever. None of them do.
Life is like that. People move on! ESPECIALLY the good ones. They find different things to do and better things to do and sometimes they even start their own businesses. Great people are motivated and driven and passionate about making a difference in the world. They're not married to you. They will - one day - move on to something new and that's ok! That's great actually! There will be room then for someone new to fill their place in a way that only that someone-new can.
If we treat our people like we own them, then we'll lose them even faster. No one wants to feel owned.
It's the same in an intimate relationship. Open hand. Love freely. No one can be bought or sold. No one can "steal" a person. People are not property. They are PEOPLE. They are free and need to feel free. They are diverse and have diverse interests. They are in your life for a season and a reason and they will exit at anytime they damn well please and we have to make peace with that. We have to say, "I love you and you can leave me. It's ok. I hope you'll stay, but either way - it's ok." When we act this way it's amazing how people respond. They want to stay! They feel free. They are happy. They are fulfilled. They try on other things for size and they take you along for the ride. Working relationships can be flexible like that. And fun!
I'm writing this post for all of you business owners and managers out there who have abandonment issues and cannot fathom losing that fave employee. You make it mean something about you that is deeply personal and 100% untrue, btw. You then allow it to influence your future working relationships if you lose that special person and you project all of that garbage onto each fresh, new soul that comes your way (turning it into reality). It's a vicious, toxic cycle and it keeps you feeling like a bad boss.
You're not a bad boss! You're just a human one. A human one with a hurting and unhealed heart.
Love your teams the way you want to be loved... with freedom and joy and respect... and watch it come right back to you in spades. When the tides shift and seasons change, then know you'll have to say good-bye but it will be ok. You will be grateful and you will be ready to say hello to someone new. This process will never end and you will get very, very, good at being good to all of those good people out there who want to work for you. It will be a beautiful thing for you and for them.
+ Interested in learning more about creating powerful teams and managing them so they're happy and successful? E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org